Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
