Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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