Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
