How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
