why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
