ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just had sex on a roof
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
