Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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