so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
