oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
