I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
