turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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