My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
