1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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