I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was not drunk enough for that final.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize