lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
