Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
