we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
