Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
