Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
