Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize