I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
