He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
