I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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