Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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