i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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