thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I will pee on everything he values.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
