i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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