just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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