Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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