I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
