it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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