great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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