Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
where am i from again
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
