We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she peed on how many people?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
