Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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