in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
