Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
