Ambien. No doubt about it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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