im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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