Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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