So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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