I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
