Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
