he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
