Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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