I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize