Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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