I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
