Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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