hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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